If you do stay, SHAM, you might let your husband continue to think heвЂ™s risking his marriage when he cheats. You stopped because you didnвЂ™t want to know if he was. Make peace with it again, I should say, as I donвЂ™t think you stopped scouring his iPad and phone for evidence because you didnвЂ™t think he was cheating on you. But youвЂ™ll have to make peace with who your husband is if you decide to stay. To be clear, SHAM, I donвЂ™t think staying means youвЂ™re an idiot. But if staying makes you feel like an idiot, SHAM, your anger (justified) and resentment (ditto) will eventually ruin what you enjoy about your marriage. Leaving him means giving up everything about your marriage that you enjoy-the good sex life a decade in, the generally low-conflict intimacy, the home youвЂ™ve made together, the social life you share. Whatever it is, SHAM, heвЂ™s unlikely to change. Or maybe heвЂ™s one of those selfish jerks who doesnвЂ™t want an honest open relationship because that would mean giving you the same freedom. Maybe heвЂ™s one of those guys who really wants to be monogamous and feels terrible every time he fucks around behind your back. Which means your husband is the same person heвЂ™s always been. So letвЂ™s go ahead assume the worst: Your husband never stopped cheating on you. He may have gotten one of those full-body-contact massages that involve the masseuse stripping off and rubbing his body all over his clientвЂ™s body-and while I think that kind of massage qualifies as sensual, your husband may feel (and rationalize) differently. That doesnвЂ™t necessarily mean your husband had sex with a body worker. Crabs-pubic lice-are almost always transmitted during pubes-to-pubes contact, e.g., someone who has crabs grinds their crotch against the crotch of someone who doesnвЂ™t have crabs and then they both have crabs. But should I stay? Are all past infidelities moot at this point because weвЂ™ve put them behind us? Can this new case of crabs be viewed in isolation? Can people get genital area crab infestations during a non-sensual massage? Or am I the idiot whose husband has been fucking around on him the whole time weвЂ™ve been together?Д«ut I gotta sayвЂ¦ it seems far likelier that your husband, a man who lied to your face the last time he got crabs, is lying to you again. IвЂ™m not going back to scouring his phone and devices. I feel like the only way IвЂ™ll ever get the truth is if I find proof and fuck that.

This has obviously brought his history of lying and cheating back to the forefront and IвЂ™m questioning so many things. Then two weeks ago I discovered he has crabs (again) after he gave them to me (again). I hadnвЂ™t felt the need to sleuth on his devices in years. We never fight, our sex life is good, we have a wonderful home and social life. IвЂ™m happy I decided to move past this because the last four years have been great. We mutually decided that opening the relationship wasnвЂ™t a great idea and never really discussed it again.

At the time we talked about having an open relationship and I told him I was cool with that, but I wasnвЂ™t cool sharing my life with someone who lies to me so easily. The pain was too much to deal with and I just wanted to move on and get back to our lives. He admitted to all of this only after I showed him the proof. All my concerns over the years were confirmed, and further sleuthing revealed there was another guy he was fucking around with as well. Fast forward another couple years and IвЂ™m feeling insecure and look on his iPad, and find confirmation that he was sleeping with the guy heвЂ™d exchanged photos and flirty texts with early in our relationship. He told me it was most likely from the volunteer work he does in a homeless shelter. Fast forward a few years and he gets crabs and gives them to me. I decided to let it go, as it was early in the relationship. I confronted him at the time, and he lied to me. There was some mild infidelity on his part (exchanging photos and flirting via text with another guy) early in our relationship. IвЂ™m a gay male in my forties and IвЂ™ve been married to my husband for nine years.

A strange love story download